Hump day: monday edition

 

 

 

annnnnnnd ending with depressed whale:

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I was called a magical unicorn today

I was called a magical unicorn today and I cannot lie, it kinda made may already awesome Friday a little better!  I have also decided that I want to be addressed as such from now on. Hence forth, I will only respond to “the Magical Unicorn”…………………………………………………..or Becca……. BAH!  This came about because I was able to get information out of my brother that I guess no one else could? OR! he knows I would continue to ask him and bother him until he told me. POINT LITTLE SISTER!!! BOOM!

I have a couple of things to address, so I am going to try and do it quickly….

I want to preface this first thing by saying that this is a broad statement and this rant has been brewing for approx three months. It is directed at no one in particular (SERIOUSLY, if it was, i would call them out in person to their FACE, cause that is the humane thing to do)…

If you know how to slap up a cms (like wordpress, joomla, drupal, etc) and you can install a premade theme on to the cms, YOU ARE NOT A WEB DESIGNER. YOU ARE NOT A WEB DEVELOPER! You are discounting my entire profession and the time I have worked to build up my shit.

  • Do I use wordpress? um DUH! Because it is easy and convenient.
  • Could I code you a website in PHP/CSS/HTML/Java/JQuery, yes.
  • Could I create a homegrown CMS in PHP that was user friendly with a decent GUI and have it be exactly what is wanted? yes. I have started creating my own CMS actually. Just for the HELL OF IT! THAT IS HOW AWESOME I AM!
  • Now, do I mean this part of the post to call out anyone in particular, no. No, I do not.

Actually, some people I work with in my spare time who want websites built, know how to use wordpress, just not how to design, customize and develop the sites. These people are AWESOME because they openly admit to these facts and actually want to LEARN more about how to design and create the sites. One has even asked to learn more about it, and that is part of the website creation deal we made. It was factored in because I ENCOURAGE IT.

This rant does NOT by any means apply to or discount the people that can code in HTML and use CSS to their advantage and so on….

Now with all of this being said, my final statement… I have seen and heard many a person advertise themselves as developers and designers because they can throw up a premade system and a premade design… it is insulting. STOP.

OK! WHEW! I have been holding that in for about 3 months. Anywho, onto the more fun parts of this post.

We are at FRIDAY, what are you all doing this weekend? Here is a list from scoutmob of stuff to do: http://scoutmob.com/washington-dc/scoutfinds/4118 — their eat-local-street-bar things looks good! I will be headed into clarendon tonight to watch my soccer team get wild and crazy on a pub crawl of sorts (SOBER WALKER RIGHT HERE!). Then tomorrow night, I will be headed further into old town to try out a new sushi joint and celebrate my brother’s 30th birthday. While we are celebrating slightly late, he is slightly old. SO no worries there. He is awesome though! And he is SO awesome that I overnighted part of his gift just so I could make sure it was perfect and I may or may not procrastinate… worst thing ever, his gf (she’s AWESOME) reminded me like two or three weeks ago. hahaha I suck.

This next bit may or may not interest you…. but I am in love with Pot Belly’s Mediterranean Sandwich. It is good with and without chicken. You can preorder and it has the right amount of salt, spice, and flavor that you really dont need to add anything extra.

Now with that being said, I am starving. I will leave you with a couple of final things.

1) I am going to five guys for lunch, why? because i ran 3 miles this morning at 5:15am.

2) Here is your friday funny (mute if you dont wanna hear the awful freakin song):

3) Here are your friday grooves:

90s throwback 1: Sublime, What I got (reminding you to always be thankful)

90s throwback 2: Toadies, Possum Kingdom

To Prep you for the Weekend: LMFAO, Shots.

GET FIRED UP! IT’S THE FREAKIN WEEKEND! Happy Friday y’all!

A Lesson: haters gonna hate

How appropriate, “Bittersweet Symphony” (the Vitamin String Quartet version) just came on as I was beginning this post.

I have discovered something I would like to share with you all. There are multiple types of haters. I have interacted with a couple since my leave from Oklahoma and since being back here in DC….

1) The hater who hates you. This hater hates you and everything you stand for. Sometimes they have purpose and reason behind their hate and sometimes they dont… sometimes you screwed em over and whether it was intentional or not, they still hate you with all of their being. They can intentionally make your life a living hell and every time you are around them, without realizing what is happening, you shrink down and become really tiny…. hoping they wont see you and make comments or anything…

2) The hater who hates everything. This hater hates everything. Everything in the world is out to get them and attack them and no matter what you point out about how that bird didnt specifically target them with their shit and drop it on them on purpose, they still seem to think the  bird shat on them on purpose, etc. And somehow, it always ends up being someone else’s fault. While I feel for these types of haters, it is really hard to not get caught up in their hatred, so be forewarned.

3) The combo hater. The hater who hates you and everything else too. No explanation needed.

I have decided that even if all the haters in the world wanted to stop hating, they wouldn’t because they would miss the drama. Prolly wouldn’t know what to do or how to replace the drama with reality tv or something. Well, here is my statement to all of the haters out there.

While your hatred and your words are funny, please take it else where, cause I got big dreams and only a short time to do it in if I am gonna retire by the time I am 42 to travel the world. So get out my way. Stare at my nice ass as I walk away from you and remember my name, cause you can say “I hated on her once upon a time, and I hate her more now.” LOVE IT. LOVE ALL OF IT! and side note, I like to laugh at it too. I was the principal’s kid in high school. I was a nerd. My brother was a nerd. And we were hated on then and we are hated on now for being AWESOME. IT WONT PHASE ME! So, try it, but it wont affect me. Get in my way and I will just side step you. (I would say I will push you down, but I wouldn’t wanna catch the hate) Keep hatin, and doin you… imma do me.

And to all of the other positive people who want to stay positive and want to not get sucked in, just go to your happy place and don’t let the haters bring you down. They can’t hurt you if you don’t let em. Their words that they say are a reflection of how they think about themselves. Don’t let it get to ya. YOU’RE AWESOME!

BOOM!

                      

and now for your monday listening pleasure. get your day started right!

humpty humpty hump

OK — pitch for a really neat project I stumbled upon when I was google reading — it is called the Albus Cavus project. Check it out  here! Support in one way or another if ya can.

On to hump day!

Some funniness that happened in my life this past week:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The above picture was seen randomly on the top of a copier… no one was around and no one was playing with them and they were set in the battle position above.

Jerid and I were going by a halloween costume place and we saw this mannequin inside. We got a picture with her because we were such big fans!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Best for last: A coworker has this on the back of his truck.

 

Hump day slackers!

So it’s been a minute since I did a hump day post.  It’s Wednesday. It’s hump day. Things are what they are. It is hot and muggy outside…. just all around gross. One of the things I always find myself hoping on Wednesday is that I am wrong, and it isn’t actually Wednesday but some other day closer to Friday… like Thursday or Friday itself! BWAAAAAHHHHHH!

So just to add a dollop of pixie dust, here is Llamas in hats, part 4:

Epic Fail

Epic Truck design fail!

break dancing fail

Break dancing FAIL!

And here is one of my favorite emails from an asshole, from a hilarious site. Read all the way to the end! You won’t regret it!

This is from a guy who responds to people’s classified ads and tried to confuse them and piss them off. HILARIOUS!

Original ad:
670cc commercial wood chipper/shredder for sale. Little bit of rust but works great. Contact Joe – ***********@gmail.com
$4000 OBO
From Me to ***********@gmail.com:

Hi Joe,

Is the wood chipper still for sale?

Thanks,

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

Yes, I still have the wood chipper.

From Me to Joe ******:

I don’t have $4000, but what I do have is $200 and a need for use of a wood chipper for about half an hour. Would I be able to rent it from you for $200?

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

I don’t see why not. What are you using it for?

From Me to Joe ******:

Don’t worry about that. So would I be able to swing by and pick it up in my truck, then bring it back about an hour later? I can leave my driver’s license as collateral.

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

First you need to tell me what the chipper is being used for or you can find someone else.

From Me to Joe ******:

Okay, I’ll try to explain my situation. My cat just had a litter of kittens, and I can’t get rid of them. I tried giving them to my friends and putting ads online, but nobody wants them. I even tried releasing them into the wild but they keep coming back to my house. I can’t stand these little fuckers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture. So I figure my next option is to put them down. I can’t afford to have it done professionally, so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way. I looked up your model and saw it has a 6 inch input, which I think will be perfect for me.

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

…………………………………wow. No.

From Me to Joe ******:

Why not? It is an easy $200 for you. Can’t you just pretend I took it to mulch some wood?

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

No. You are a sick sick sick sick sick person.

From Me to Joe ******:

I’ll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course). Plus, I thought about my plan some more, and I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean.

Mike

Victorian Jersey Shore

Hilarity. Just watch. Makes Jersey Shore BETTER! Brittish style!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Enjoy 🙂