Hump day: monday edition

 

 

 

annnnnnnd ending with depressed whale:

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Wednesday Workup/Hump day

Here is some pump up music for you to get your ego boosted and get you prepped for the day:

 

Funny clips compiled: The Best of Failblog:

 

Clips compiled, top 25 best of Failblog, Countdown:

funny friday!

This post has been inspired by my boss who sent me this video clip this morning in response to my inability to beat him here:

and then he came in to my office to watch me watch the clip, and then shared one of the most incredible clips ever… ABOUT UNICORNS!!!

With these having been shared, it inspired me to move on to yo mamma jokes and chuck norris facts:

Yo momma’s so fat she can’t even jump to conclusions.

But she once tried… so your momma’s so fat that when she tried to jump, she got stuck in mid-air.

Yo momma’s so fat that when God said “Let there be light!”, he asked her to move aside

Yo momma’s so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat on the street, people try to flag her down and call “TAXI !!!”

 

They were going to put Chuck Norris in Grand Theft Auto. But nobody takes Chuck Norris’ car.
Chuck Norris can handle the truth. He made the truth.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn’t dead it is just afriad to move.

thoughts on a hump day

heyla!

so lately I have been trying to work on my other site, my online portfolio (when it is up and running, I will release the URL). I have also been trying to finish up some side projects. Hope to have the last one completed this evening. And I have been writing my first-ever legit iPhone app, as well as working on a hopefully awesome business plan! Just call me an entreprenerd. My most recent thoughts were and have been about the fact that approx 99.99999999% of reality stars have written books. I didnt know they could read, let alone write, except maybe Vinny from Jersey Shore. He always struck me as somewhat intelligent, lacking the extreme shallow gene that the others had. Now, this in no way is me knocking jersey shore’s entertainment value — it is very high, especially when you turn it into other forms of entertainment… like betting… or i know some people who have turned it into a drinking game. Anyway, so in order to be fair, I have been browsing through some of the different reality stars’ books and reading reviews, trying to determine which ones I could or could not stomach. I feel like I have to read one and provide a review to actually give it all a fair shot. I will keep you apprised.

Now on to Wednesday madness:

Submitted from my dear friend Melinda:

These are from randomness on youtube:

from tosh.0:

Vagina day

JUST IN TIME FOR HUMP DAY!!!!

(yes… that is me in the bunny suit and cheshire cat head, enjoy)

HI-larious! Happy Thursday!

This video is hilarious. Happy Thursday!

Hello Wednesday!

Well guys I missed my promised wednesday post, so allow me to amuse you on a tuesday. I have started a new job since we last spoke and I have been working there for about a month. My project manager has been here for about 5 years and he has told me that I have single-handedly provided him with two of the three funniest moments of his tenure here.

In my first ten days, one of the major directors from my contracting company came out here. He didnt introduce himself so I had no idea who he was or what he did. He gave us a presentation and at the end of the presentation, he asked if there were any questions. I raised my hand and asked who he was and what he did. My boss had a hard time stifling his laughter.

In the past week, my boss and I were discussing babies and breast feeding and right when I was discussing boob implants impacting the ability to breast feed, my other nasa boss walked in and saw me making a motion with my hands, implying large boobs. AWKWARD. But the NASA boss made light of it, joking about a hostile work environment.

I love my new job. A lot. The people are pretty awesome, every day is different and the news the agency puts out is interesting. We launched a Mars rover Saturday the 26th and that was so pretty it almost made me cry (no joke).

Today (being Wednesday), I am already running slow… I get to the metro late. It’s packed on the platform. People are all shoving and stuff. So we all file onto the train and (I get on at the third stop from the end, mind you… so it shouldnt be that slammed) I am sandwiched between one woman who is reading the Bible and another guy who has his back to me and being taller, his elbow is at my face level. I coulda sworn he was goin to elbow me in the face… he never did.

I get off at my stop to go to work, and as I am climbing the first escalator this dude (different guy) is swinging his arms, not paying attention to anyone else or where they are… and I am thinking well if the other guy didnt do the job, this guy is going to…. he didnt on the first escalator… but SURE AS SHIT, he did on the second. SQUARE INTO MY FACE BONE! WTF!? and then he tried to deny it. I was like…. uhhh that was my face and he was like, “I dont know what you’re talkin about” and i was like, “well, you kind of used your elbow as a battering ram against my face… that kinda sucked.” he responds with “no i didn’t” and i was like “Oh it was the other guy…. next to you. the imaginary one….” and then I grabbed air. Shook it. and screamed “WHO DO YOU WORK FOR??!!”

naw. i didnt do the last bit… but now i kinda wish i had. We argued and parted ways. It was ineffective and it changed nothing. He did deny it, and I did tell him he was a douche. Ah well. I proceeded to miss a meeting and spill coffee on myself also. THANK GOD IT’S WEDNESDAY.

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