negativity got you down?

Is negativity dragging you down? Do you feel the need to shank people? I think sometimes, we all feel this way. Even the most zen of people can get pushed to the edge. For some reason I have been feeling a little bit of this lately. Not sure why…. prolly the negativity from extraneous sources that I cannot shake. It’s on me though because I let them affect me. I am not dominating them and staying above them and I am just letting myself get pulled down to the negative people’s levels.

I guess the whole point of this post is accountability. If I say it out loud (or in this case write it in a public forum), then I have to pull my head out of my ass and fix the situation and become dominatrix over the negativity…  that I have allowed to pull me down, making the negativity my bitch. I think big things could be in my future if I just get focused and handle business. That is what it comes down to…. pulling my head out of my butt, kicking the negativity to the curb and getting focused. Finishing the damn phone app, starting the one with my bro — taking it from planning to reality — and just moving forward. I can only move forward if I choose to and let it be known, this is the moment I am choosing to seize!

totally easier said then done, but I am going to make a solid effort to make this more than just a statement…. going to try and make it reality. I wanted to start exercising, so now I get up and run every morning at 5am. I want to do this, I have declared it. I will do it damnit.

Letting all of this negativity in has not only pulled me down but made me start complaining as well. and I refuse to be that person any longer. And I am now rambling, so I will end this. But today, I plan on accomplishing some of the Flash tutorials (to get better) and some of the advanced iOS tutorials to improve and find better code then the work arounds I have been doing.


“Getting strong now”


A Lesson: haters gonna hate

How appropriate, “Bittersweet Symphony” (the Vitamin String Quartet version) just came on as I was beginning this post.

I have discovered something I would like to share with you all. There are multiple types of haters. I have interacted with a couple since my leave from Oklahoma and since being back here in DC….

1) The hater who hates you. This hater hates you and everything you stand for. Sometimes they have purpose and reason behind their hate and sometimes they dont… sometimes you screwed em over and whether it was intentional or not, they still hate you with all of their being. They can intentionally make your life a living hell and every time you are around them, without realizing what is happening, you shrink down and become really tiny…. hoping they wont see you and make comments or anything…

2) The hater who hates everything. This hater hates everything. Everything in the world is out to get them and attack them and no matter what you point out about how that bird didnt specifically target them with their shit and drop it on them on purpose, they still seem to think the  bird shat on them on purpose, etc. And somehow, it always ends up being someone else’s fault. While I feel for these types of haters, it is really hard to not get caught up in their hatred, so be forewarned.

3) The combo hater. The hater who hates you and everything else too. No explanation needed.

I have decided that even if all the haters in the world wanted to stop hating, they wouldn’t because they would miss the drama. Prolly wouldn’t know what to do or how to replace the drama with reality tv or something. Well, here is my statement to all of the haters out there.

While your hatred and your words are funny, please take it else where, cause I got big dreams and only a short time to do it in if I am gonna retire by the time I am 42 to travel the world. So get out my way. Stare at my nice ass as I walk away from you and remember my name, cause you can say “I hated on her once upon a time, and I hate her more now.” LOVE IT. LOVE ALL OF IT! and side note, I like to laugh at it too. I was the principal’s kid in high school. I was a nerd. My brother was a nerd. And we were hated on then and we are hated on now for being AWESOME. IT WONT PHASE ME! So, try it, but it wont affect me. Get in my way and I will just side step you. (I would say I will push you down, but I wouldn’t wanna catch the hate) Keep hatin, and doin you… imma do me.

And to all of the other positive people who want to stay positive and want to not get sucked in, just go to your happy place and don’t let the haters bring you down. They can’t hurt you if you don’t let em. Their words that they say are a reflection of how they think about themselves. Don’t let it get to ya. YOU’RE AWESOME!



and now for your monday listening pleasure. get your day started right!

Haters gonna hate — Funny Photo to Boost your Spirits

Hilarious photo. Saw it and had to share!


One of these things is not like the other…

One of these things is not like the other and that one thing is me….

this is both sad and happy. sad, because due to recent events, i have learned i am very different from some people i thought i was very similar to. but happy because i would rather be different than the same. if that makes sense.

i used to have a notebook in college, that i got from hot topic of all places, that said “you all laugh because im different, i laugh because you’re all the same.”  <—– that is how i feel now. after sleeping and mulling things over and over the past two-three weeks, that is how i am now feeling.

once upon a time, before i moved back to the dc area, i felt that my husband and i were the only peas of a pod that no one else really understood or could ever be a part of. we were different. (side note: if i had to share a pod with anyone, im glad it is him. he is amazing and awesome in every way, despite the 1100 miles in between us. and he gets me like no one else does.) when i moved back here, i thought “dc! home of my brethren! whoop whoop! lots of different people like me.” and adopted said attitude. now this may still be true, but this is only true to an extent.

which was and is more of a one pod wolf pack consisting of jerid and i but then aldy came along, and we said “could it be?” and we became a pack of three…. bahahahahahaha.


Subject:  Wolf packs….

all wolf packs have an elaborate hierarchy.  you can often relate this hierarchy to that of a high school clique or group of friends (some people are more important in the group and some people are omega wolves… the lowest of the low, who sometimes get pushed out or leave…are the most disliked and so on)… i find this interesting when relating it to society… not sure if i am ready to draw comparisons to my own life and such (so if you are ready to do it for me, keep it to yourself).

anywho, forgot where i was going with that. but no matter. infer what you will, you are going to anyway… or hell, point it to your life and take a gander… what do you see?

…and i think im rambling… i may actually need coffee today.

so just to recap. i can see people who are actually in the wolf pack mentality all around me (on the metro, at work, in life). people i know and dont know…. and i was starting to get sucked in. but consider this my notification of pulling my head out of my ass and getting my shit together and getting it straight….pulling myself out of the wolf pack, out of the high school bull shit, away from caring about the crap that is unimportant and petty and more into what is real and important. for the sake of little aldy and jerid. the twos of them need me to be less concerned about social standings and hierarchys and more concerned about how we are going to decorate our condo!!!!!! hehehehehe boom. and boom.

jerid comes in mid march, right when we close on the condo. and i couldn’t be more excited. we have big plans… BIG plans indeed!

also, i have moved on and disconnected from a lot of people on facebook and it feels good. it feels REALLY good. i think that leaving some of these people behind will allow me to move forward with the new life that jerid and i are creating here.

you don’t like it? life too hard? well guess what; LIFE’S HARD, GET A HELMET!

i have always been worried about pressing publish, but today…. TODAY i take a stand. im going to do press publish regardless of the thoughts this post may bring from others. (taking a page from rachael king’s book here)

Hello Wednesday!

Well guys I missed my promised wednesday post, so allow me to amuse you on a tuesday. I have started a new job since we last spoke and I have been working there for about a month. My project manager has been here for about 5 years and he has told me that I have single-handedly provided him with two of the three funniest moments of his tenure here.

In my first ten days, one of the major directors from my contracting company came out here. He didnt introduce himself so I had no idea who he was or what he did. He gave us a presentation and at the end of the presentation, he asked if there were any questions. I raised my hand and asked who he was and what he did. My boss had a hard time stifling his laughter.

In the past week, my boss and I were discussing babies and breast feeding and right when I was discussing boob implants impacting the ability to breast feed, my other nasa boss walked in and saw me making a motion with my hands, implying large boobs. AWKWARD. But the NASA boss made light of it, joking about a hostile work environment.

I love my new job. A lot. The people are pretty awesome, every day is different and the news the agency puts out is interesting. We launched a Mars rover Saturday the 26th and that was so pretty it almost made me cry (no joke).

Today (being Wednesday), I am already running slow… I get to the metro late. It’s packed on the platform. People are all shoving and stuff. So we all file onto the train and (I get on at the third stop from the end, mind you… so it shouldnt be that slammed) I am sandwiched between one woman who is reading the Bible and another guy who has his back to me and being taller, his elbow is at my face level. I coulda sworn he was goin to elbow me in the face… he never did.

I get off at my stop to go to work, and as I am climbing the first escalator this dude (different guy) is swinging his arms, not paying attention to anyone else or where they are… and I am thinking well if the other guy didnt do the job, this guy is going to…. he didnt on the first escalator… but SURE AS SHIT, he did on the second. SQUARE INTO MY FACE BONE! WTF!? and then he tried to deny it. I was like…. uhhh that was my face and he was like, “I dont know what you’re talkin about” and i was like, “well, you kind of used your elbow as a battering ram against my face… that kinda sucked.” he responds with “no i didn’t” and i was like “Oh it was the other guy…. next to you. the imaginary one….” and then I grabbed air. Shook it. and screamed “WHO DO YOU WORK FOR??!!”

naw. i didnt do the last bit… but now i kinda wish i had. We argued and parted ways. It was ineffective and it changed nothing. He did deny it, and I did tell him he was a douche. Ah well. I proceeded to miss a meeting and spill coffee on myself also. THANK GOD IT’S WEDNESDAY.


when people try and strip you of your free will, listen to rage against the machine.  here is an awesome rendition of some rage done by the GMU band:

Insane Ramblings – Political edition

This isn’t about which political party you belong to or your political leanings. To be honest, I could give two shits what your opinions are on today’s most pressing political topics. I am not expressing mine, so please keep yours to yourself.

What this post is actually about today is the lack of people voting. You say you care about politics and you are one sentence away from getting into a huge argument over abortion or health care or whatever. Fact of the matter is, that regardless of your political leanings, if you don’t vote, you might as well sit down and save it!

I been on facebook and twitter, and a lot of people seem to be supporting the act of voting.  But then you get the occasional people who are of the attitude of why vote since the candidates are going to mess it up anyway… or the “i’m-exercising-my-right-not-to-vote”…. yea these people are special.  And these are the people I am referring to…

[side note: if you are a felon, please ignore this as you are not able to exercise your right to vote and I get that]

These kinds of people really grind my gears. And I think there should be a law about this kind of shit…an exception to freedom of speech (1st amendment)… You don’t vote, you can’t bitch about what the politicians do to this country. You have an opportunity, as an American citizen, to vote for the people who represent you in your government. A lot of people don’t have that opportunity… even in this country — felons, immigrants who are on green card, and so on. So why not take advantage of it?  And if you don’t then shut your mouth and save your rants for someone who is willing to overlook the fact that you want to bitch about something you could have helped change.

and i will get off my soap box now.

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