people: past, present, and future

throughout the entire period of our lives, we will meet thousands of people…. and this quote seems totally applicable: “some people are meant to stay in your life while others are just meant to make an appearance.”

here is the situation. often times, i find myself losing touch with good people, good contacts, and good friends because i move, they move, jobs change, people change, circles of friends change… and it sucks. also, i am lazy and it takes a large amount of want to get me on the phone for any kind of conversation…. but as of late, i have found myself reaching out to a select few people who i feel i should still be interacting with — people who should still be in my life. people i shared 10 hour car rides with; people who were there when i really needed them; people i was able to be around to help. and i get why some of these people aren’t around anymore. in my darkest hours, some of these people tried to help me and reached out to me despite personal danger to themselves, their jobs, their property – and i didn’t care then. some people just bailed because my dark times, were too dark for them (and that is respectable and i hold no grudges, not sure i woulda stuck around when shit went down). in the past couple of years, i have been working to right the wrongs that i committed and get these people back in my life – the ones whose appearances in my life are NOT over (damnit!). some, i have not been successful in reviving, while others, i have.

i mean don’t think this is a pity party kind of thing. it isn’t. i just know that there are about some truly exceptional people that i met and pushed away, that i have not been able to reconnect with. i think what happened is they got tired of trying and now that i am, they aren’t sure if it’s for real, if they wanna even open the can of worms again, etc. and it just sucks. i mean like i said, no pity party here, no balloons, no streamers, nothin’ — i do get it, i wronged every single person in my life, including my family. it took two years for me to right wrongs with some of these people. i guess it is just going to take longer to right the near decade of wrongs i committed. anyway, i am ready to be the friend i was supposed to be. i have been able to show some, i guess i will just have to show others how committed i am to there… weekly phone calls and emails and such. oh well. let the games begin. 🙂

sorry for the seriousness today, just got to thinkin about the people i really want to reconnect with… kinda realized they weren’t really lettin’ me. these people were my best friends through college and during the tragic jon years and the awkward years… those times when i was the lowly 17 year old college freshman who couldn’t do anything that most freshman could…

hurts a little, but if i wasn’t a strong person, i wouldn’t be here today. and besides, those dog days are over. left em behind. so i will just be persistent. i mean, TEN HOUR CAR RIDES PEOPLE! hours spent on the phone at night, these people cared. anyway, you know who you are, and you have seen my texts, emails, facebook messages, or voicemails. consider this my public call. embarrassing myself to save the friendship i had and reconnect with these amazing people i once knew, who once knew me.

to all the people still in my life, mad love. thanks for bein there. to the haters who just made passing appearances, better the past than the present because yknow what — i wouldn’t put up with half the shit today that you used to give me then. and to all the future friends, hello! how ya doin?

once again, this is a place for funny times and good comics and such, sorry for the seriousness. i prolly didn’t express these words and ideas as well as i could have, but at least i expressed em and hopefully got the point across.

for now, you do you and imma do me.

mad love to all of my homies: past, present, and future – all of you had an impact and shaped me to who i am today whether we are still friends or not. thanks. i’m out.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Betsy Goodman
    Mar 08, 2011 @ 09:40:27

    Read your March 7 posting, People: Past, Present, Future, with interest and some trepidation; but, I am glad I read it. It takes courage, strength, and a good bit of maturity to say some of the things you said there. I am proud of you for developing and nurturing those characteristics inside of yourself.


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